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Dumb Mikey Buys Horses – December 28, 2007
Mikey bought two horses but could never remember which horse was which. A neighbor
suggested that Mikey cut the tail off of one horse. So Mikey does, but the other horse soon got his tail caught in a bush and
they had to cut its tail off too. The neighbor then suggested that Mikey notch the ear of one of the horses. Mikey being
at his wits end did exactly that. Unfortunately, the other horse got his ear caught in some barbed wire fenced and as luck would
have it, his ear got notched too.
Having fun with Mikey was one of his neighbor’s passions, so he then suggested that Mikey measure the horses for height. Off
Mikey goes to measure the horses and is happy to find that the white horse is two inches taller than the black horse.
Dumb Mikey Grieves – November 16, 2007
Mikey goes to his office one morning as he did most mornings, even though we all know Mikey
doesn’t really do anything. In any case, he is sitting in his office crying when his assistant comes in and asks him what is wrong. Mikey says, “earlier this morning, I received a phone call that my mother has passed away.” “I’m so sorry” his assist says,
“maybe you should go home for the day.” However, Mikey refuses because he said he would feel better doing something and keeping
his mind occupied.
A little later, Sally hears Mikey cry and out is sobbing in his office again. She runs in and asks him, “What
happened now? Are you going to be okay?” In between sobs Mikey looks up at his assistant and said, “I’m sorry but my sister
just called and it has been a bad day!! Seems her mother just died too!!”
Dumb Mikey Bets the Bartender – October 26, 2007
After a long hard day of nothing to do, Mikey decided that he would go to the local
watering hole to get a drink. Secretly he hoped one of his buddies were there so that he wouldn’t have to pay for a drink. To
his disappointment, Mikey didn’t see anyone he knew so he sat down at the bar and began watching the news. Mikey became interested
in the 6 o’clock news when they showed a man was on the Brooklyn Bridge and was threatening to jump. The bartender, knowing
Mikey, came up to him and said, “betcha $50 he jumps.”
Mikey thought about it for a second and said okay. A few seconds
later, the man jumped from the bridge and disgustedly, Mikey takes a fifty out his wallet and hands it to the bartender. The
bartender says to him, “naw Mikey, I was just messing around, I can’t take your money.” When Mikey asks why, the bartender explains
that he had already seen the news at 5 o’clock and knew the man would jump. To which Mikey promptly replied, “Its okay, a bet
is a bet. I saw the 5 o’clock news too, I just didn’t think he would jump again.”
Dumb Mikey Goes on a Diet – August 3, 2007
When he returns in two weeks he has lost an astonishing 20 pounds. “That’s amazing,” says the doctor, “Did you follow
my instructions?” Mikey says, “yeah Doc, but on the third day I thought I was going to die.” “From hunger?” asks
the doctor. “No,” says Mikey, “From all the skipping.”
Dumb Mikey Finishes Puzzle – June 23, 2007
Dumb Mikey Alias Dick Cheney – April 27, 2007
Dumb Mikey and His Goldfish – March 30, 2007
Dumb Mikey Gets a Library Book – March 30, 2007
Dumb Mikey Tries for the Nobel Peace Prize – February 16, 2007
Mikey decided to move out to a farm. He didn't get many visitors, so
I went to see him...when I got there, he was standing stiff as a board, out in the middle of the cow paddock. I yelled out to him,
and asked what he was doing standing out there all still and straight. He replied that he was trying to win a Noble Peace prize. I
said, "Well, that's great, but what are you doing in the paddock?" He replied, "I was reading the newspaper, and it said all you had
to do to win the Noble Peace prize was to be outstanding in your field."
Dumb Mikey and the Arlington Police – February 16, 2007
An Arlington police officer stopped Mikey the other day for speeding and asked
him very nicely if he could see his license. Mikey replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday
you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"